Where am I? Today is the day of nothing right? Wait what am I doing here? Where's the rat? There's something out there Mulder.... Last thing I remember was....pinecones...blue freaks....(Ok where were the pinecones in that last episode stupid?) Shut up....there were pincones, you just couldn't see them.
(You're stupid saying I couldn't see them when you and I see the same thing...) Lets get on with this episode...again....
Begin Log 4.......
Jedi log....ah who cares....
It was rather uneventful.....After waking up to the sound of pirates screaming and security gaurds roaring I felt it was time to get out of the park. Why was I in the park anyway? The last thing I remember was actually escaping the clutches of the evil rats plan for galactic domination with wooden people.
Well it took me a while to swim through the harsh river canals of the ride but through constant struggle i made it. I persevered through the storms...I still wonder where those guys walking through the water got stilts long enough to make it the rivers endless bottom. I mean the water went to their knees! I still wonder what it was that my knees were hitting....
Enough of that now....well I got out of the ride and I decided I would cruise around a bit more as all I got to see of the park was the gate, a rat and his dog, and wooden people trying to take over the galaxy. Nothing big really.... Well I went to this one ride with midgit-mobiles. I still found it funny when a midgit sat in the car. It was hilarious! But the place really looked more like a 50's restaurant or something....
HAHAHA! Look at that migit in there! Wait a minute...I"M A MIDGIT!!!!! And whats with this cow?
COW
FRIES
I relaized that I needed to get away from the insanity so I decided to rent their midget mobile an cruise the park that way. Unfortunately I couldn't get away from the circular track which the car was forced to stay in. Anyway after getting my head out of the trash can it got stuck in... I left the town I was in....(what town? Its disneyl;and for crying out loud!) YOU SHUT UP! (At least I know that Disneyland is divided up into "lands"!).....I knew that.....(right....)...anyway after I left the land I was in I headed over towards another land. Anyway I was astonished at the next thing I saw, wierd people too...
Well they were the true freaks. I wonder if thats what was out there...
I still couldn't believe what I saw....this sight was so frightening I climbed a mountian!
I still wonder what this odd fellow meant once I jumped and landed on the ground cracking the wet cement.
I mean who was this freak? Is he famous? Is it the rat? Does he have glasses or does he throw himself off the mountain? Nah....I mean who would jump off a fake mountain anyway? I mean you'd have to be somekind of super natural freak to do that...
Wait...how did this come into mind? DIE MONKEY FACE!!!!!
Wait I can't kill my former mask....I need it for Halloween...
*He pulls the monkey face mask from his pocket and starts punching it*
Wait...Why am I punching it?
*He starts hitting his head on a metal pole next to the Materhorn Mountain*
Ow...losing conciousness...
After Going to food place for ice I found someone i recognized so I quickly began an interview with it....
BEGIN INTERVIEW #1....
Hey dude!
Oh shit..why are you here?
Vader: Hey Chief! Why are you here?
Chief: Why you here...you're interrupting my assasination mission...
Vader: No I'm not! Hey whoever is the target for Chief here and is very important you best run away now!
Cortana: Just abort Chief...we'lll get him some other time...Stupid Vader...
Chief: Sure thing...stupid Vader...
Vader: Who you talking to? And I'm not stupid...
Chief: What do you want Vader?
Vader: An Interview...first lets start off with your name...
Chief: I have a name...Cortana...whats my name?
Cortana: I don't know...I didn't know you had one...
Vader: Ok Cortana....
Chief: But My name isn't Cortana....
Vader: Right and I'm actually the grim Reaper....
Chief: But it isn't...Cortana is an advanced Computer AI program used to help destroy Convanent forces...She is currently in my helmet connected to my neural implants for protction...
Vader: Can you say that again?
Chief: Uh...i was using the radio to ask someone for my name....
Vader: I'll just call you Rogan...
Chief: You do that...Well thanks for the interview must be off now...
Vader: Sorry it just started...
Chief: Damn....
Why do you have a gun with you?
So I can shoot people...I mean
because...yeah...
Vader: I don't know man...that gun of yours looks kinda lame...I mean you only have two scopes with it...
Chief: Hey...I got more than just a sniper rifle...I can use all weapons...
Vader: I bet you can't use a pinecone or a toaster oven! CAN YOU CAN YOU?!
Chief: Damn....Curse the Crap Box and Microsoft fo limiting me to firearms and grenades!
Vader: Why do you wear that mask all the time?
Chief: I don't want the enemy to see my face....
Vader: Why?
Chief: Because....
Vader: Why?
Chief: I want my identity kept secret...
Vader: Why?
Chief: Because...........
Vader: Why?
Chief: BECAUSE STUPID MICROSOFT COULDN'T THINK OF WHAT A CYBORG WAS!!!!!
Vader: Ok....Let me see if this is what you look like beneath it....Tell me when i come to it...
Chief: Uh...ok....
Vader: Is this what you look like?
Chief: I'm a guy dude...can't you tell from the voice?
Vader: Oh...I thought you were a girl....besides what voice? This is in text and the X-Files theme is playing in the background....ok Scully?
Chief: Right....Wait a minute... I'M A GUY YOU IDIOT!
Vader: How bout this one?
Chief: Why would I be that of what I kill?
Vader: Traitor to your kind maybe?
Chief: Yeah right stupid....
Cortana: I don't know chief...You did block me from seeing what you look like...you could be a grunt....
Chief: You wanna be deleted?
Cortana: I'll shut up now....
Vader: Come on dude I wanna hear your conversations wiht your girlfriend!
Chief: I don't have a girlfriend....
Vader: No wonder why you probably look like this...
Chief: I am not a bull!
Vader: Actually That's a cow.... how do you fit your head in your mask if your a cow with horns?
Chief: Because I don't have horns or a big fat nose and mouth!
Vader: Ok...lets try more human....
Chief: Now that's the right way...
Chief: Thats not the right way....
Vader: So your a gorrilla and not a chimpanzee?
Chief: Neither...I am a human being....
Vader: So your that female from before?
Chief: I'm still a guy...idiot....
Vader: I figured it out! I mean who you are!
Chief: WHO AM I!!!????
Vader: Well you aren't Jackie Chan thats for sure so lets try this....
Vader: Wait a sec....if you're Bill Gates then who's that nerd over there in line?
Chief: That's the real Bill Gates! My twin brother! Actually that's an android I created with Windows XXP SE installed on it
The android starts acting all crazy as a screen is projected onto the wall with an error sign on it. *Error! We could not find windows.exe! Please visit microsoftupdates.com and buy our update for $99.95. Plus you get a free virus to send to your friends and your hardrive!*
Vader: So thats how you got so rich!
Chief: You do realize I'm going to have to kill you now right?
Vader: I think this ends this interview...have a good day...*Vader begins walking away*
Well with that all finished and me regaining conciousness I think that concludes this day....I think I'll take a long nap in this bush whil the janitors clean up this mess Bill Gates made...what do you say Windows defective Bill Gates android?
